Tatiana's Secret

This weekend I was on my way home from yoga class when I decided to pop into a Victoria's Secret for a new pair of underwear. Walking into the store, I was greeted by a young woman who informed me that if I tried on a particular bra, I would receive $5 off my purchase that day.

"You mean, $5 off the price of the bra," I said. Ha, ha, thought you could get one past me, didn't you!

"No, anything you buy today," she replied.

I thanked the sales girl and spent the next ten minutes looking around the store, finally honing in on the pair of underwear I wanted. (I'll spare you the details, but let's just say I was not shopping for comfort...) At the register I smiled sweetly and tried to cajole the sales assistant into giving me the $5 discount for trying on the bra even though I hadn't.

She refused.

"But look at me," I said, gesturing at my sweat-soaked t-shirt and yoga pants. "You really don't want someone sweaty like me trying on one of your bras, do you? I'll get it all wet."

She shrugged.

"So you're not going to give me the discount?"

She shook her head.

"Give me the bra," I grumbled. Five dollars is five dollars, darn it.

Long story short: I got the discount; the husband-pleasing panties; and somewhere in the Victoria's Secret on Third Avenue and 72nd Street is a bra that smells a little iffy.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

U.K. Cover of Hedge Fund Wives

I think it says it all.